Fiero Tips by Scott Swisher

Reprinted from the July 2000 Issue of the Cleveland Fieros’ newsletter Fiero Fever


The Fiero is an unusual car in many ways, but I have noticed that one (Fiero) is not enough. I myself have one Fiero and have explored ways to increase the collection by one more. I have run into two roadblocks: Money and Wife.

Money can be conquered in safe and legal ways, most notably, saving money up. But selling your mate on a second car can challenge the best a man can come up with. Wives use technicalities like, logic, reason, and common sense. We as men are not encumbered by such afflictions. So if you need help acquiring that next Fiero, here are some helpful tips!

PS: Results are not guaranteed because I still have only one car, but I'm still working on my wife!

1. Everyone else has more than one! ! ! ! ! And if she asks about everyone else jumping off a cliff -say yes.

2. It's cheaper than a Corvette and just as much fun. Not only is this a factual statement, but an economical one.

3. It's either fast women or fast cars. I know someone this worked for- he got to buy a 1988 Red Vette.

4. I think we need to spend more quality time together, so I bought you a Fiero that you can enter into car shows too!

5. I bought it for parts. It’s just to put parts on, not to take them off (you don't need to tell her that last part).

6. It's a good investment. Microsoft stock could drop!

7. If we replace the kitchen floor, can I buy that 2nd Fiero (this is called bartering)?

8. It's not like the one I have! It's a 1988 GT, different suspension, color, and a 5 speed.

9. It can be a back up car in case one of our daily drivers breaks down. As long as it's not snowing, raining, low humidity, and can park far out in the parking lot. Oh yeah, make sure you put the cover on before you go into work.

10.   If I don't buy it, it will go to the scrap yard! This one I put down as a humanitarian effort. Like save the birds. She will appreciate your sensitive side, I hope.

11.   As NIKE reads: Just Do It. This is only advised for those of you who have heated garages you can then sleep in.

12. As a last resort, beg and plead. She may not want to see you make a fool of yourself. Yes, you may lose a little self-respect but that T -top open on a summer evening will be worth it.

Author's Wife's Rebuttal: With this article, he has dug a hole so deep, he will never dig out!

Editor's Note: \\'hen we went to 'just look’ at our 1987 White GT in Hudson, OH where it was for sale, the owner invited us in for coffee! I asked Bruce where we would keep it (a logical question!) and he said he would find a spot for it! I said we already have three Fieros and the owner told Bruce, "Yes, but you don't have an '87 GT!" So, Bruce made him an offer (which just happened to be the only offer) and we acquired our fourth (and last!) Fiero! Hope to get new kitchen cupboards and new living room furniture someday! Good luck, Sherry!